Leading During Uncertain Times
Pema Chödrön’s Comfortable With Uncertainty has been a touchstone in my life for years now, and she expertly and gently explains why we tend to move away from the discomfort of not knowing. Our discomfort is often what keeps us running toward control, toward certainty, toward the illusion that safety lies in answers rather than accessing the courage to stay with the discomfort.
I’ve often seen this in my practice as a consultant and coach. We’re taught to plan, to forecast, to reassure others that we know the way, and this expectation is heightened if we lead others. Yet so often, life doesn’t match our plans. Projects shift, people change, the ground beneath us moves, often well outside our control. When that happens, the natural instinct is to tighten our grip and double down on knowing.
But what if leadership in any form, at its most human, begins not in certainty but in our relationship with uncertainty?
Uncertainty has a way of revealing what’s unfinished in us and exposes the edges of our confidence and the fears we’d prefer to outthink. When we meet those moments with resistance, we highlight the places where we are fragmented if we look beyond our clinging to hubris and hiding our self-doubt. When we can stay, just stay, and let the feeling move through us, something else happens. We start to notice where we have work to do on ourselves, get the support we need to do the work and can begin a path to our own wholeness.
As I work with those navigating change, I see how uncertainty can be a mirror. It reflects the places where our sense of worth or safety still depends on control. Yet it also invites us into a more honest place rooted in self-awareness and presence rather than focusing all our efforts on moving away from discomfort.
Becoming comfortable with uncertainty isn’t easy because it’s more than a single act of courage. We must develop a practice that often means starting again and again when something unexpected happens. I’ve done this myself, so speak from personal experience. Through this practice (and usually we get lots of it at work!) we learn to trust that being present is the path through uncertainty and a doorway back to ourselves.
Pema Chödrön reminds us of why this is so powerful when she suggests we can stop trying to escape from uncertainty and fear, and instead, use our discomfort as a path to awakening.
There is a simple way to start. If you’re facing uncertainty and want to move away from it, be honest about what you’re feeling. Then, get curious about it rather than identifying with it. Instead of saying, “I’m afraid,” it can help to say “I’m feeling fearful, and I’m curious about why that is.” Though it may sound like semantics, there is power in the underlying sentiment. You are asserting ‘I am still me. I just happen to feel some emotion about a situation right now.’ That approach can often create a sense of agency to hold the emotion and work with it rather than running away from it.
If that feels difficult to do on your own, reach out for support. None of us were meant to practice courage alone. While reaching out can feel like a natural response, I’ve worked with plenty of people going through change, transition or crisis who are reluctant to do that because it can feel vulnerable. Sometimes part of courage is sharing our vulnerability as we ask for support, and this can also be part of our work and journey back to ourselves.
Please share your thoughts in the comments and also reach out to have a conversation about this if it resonated and you want to chat about it more. I’d love to hear from you.
